Animated Nyan Cat Rainbow
I'm Sorry I Can't Be Perfect

When I was eleven years old, my mother told me
“If you keep eating like that once you get your period
you’re going to get fat.”
I, at eleven, didn’t care if I got fat
I liked the taste of chocolate ice cream on summer days
with my friends, our bony knees covered in grass stains
and bruises. I didn’t know what “fat” meant
but that day, that day she said it, I knew that it was bad
I knew my mother would hate me if I was fat

When I was twelve years old, I got my period
and my mother, as it turns out, was horribly right
I grew, and grew, and grew, but I didn’t see myself growing
I was too busy playing barbies and reading to see it
until one day I looked at a picture of myself and saw
just how large I’d become, I wanted to scream
I didn’t recognize myself in the camera beside my brother
I didn’t recognize that face or those arms
And to this day when I see a photograph of myself
I am still not sure it is me staring blankly back at the camera

When I was thirteen years old, I met a boy
who I thought loved me, and who I thought I loved
It didn’t occur to me that saying “no”
and him saying “If you really loved me you’d do this”
“If you don’t I’ll feel bad for asking”
“If I feel bad I’ll kill myself.”
wasn’t love, but use, or abuse
It only occured to me when “no” wasn’t good enough
and maybe he hadn’t heard me, so I screamed it
but he wouldn’t listen, he wouldn’t listen

When I was thirteen years old, I’d forgotten how to eat
And I’d started opening my skin to see if I could fix myself
Maybe if I hurt myself enough I’d be good enough
after all when my mother found out she
was so angry she could hardly speak
I didn’t have the prescence of mind to tell her
that what she thought had been sex wasn’t sex
that it wasn’t my fault, that it wasn’t, right? Right?
But I was too busy counting numbers on scales
and nutrition labels and breaking razors
and crying hysterically into my pillow
and then when anyone asked I’d say
“I’m doing great, how about you?”

When I was fourteen I sat in a counsellors office
when he said the dreaded “A” word
and I put my head in my hands
and he said “I have to tell your mother.”
And everything hurt but that didn’t stop
my ex boyfriend from asking and I
didn’t say no but I didn’t say yes
but before I knew it I was underneath a dark bridge
and my head felt like there were a thousand trains
running through my skull
and he didn’t care, he didn’t fucking care
and to this day it makes me so angry
I want to scream or punch something
or maybe myself
for not speaking
up

And now I am seventeen
and I am holding on by threads and my girlfriend
is kind and sweet and she is the most beautiful
girl I have ever seen and my parents dare tell me
that who I love is wrong because we have the same body parts
and everyone seems to care more about what is
between our thighs than what is in our hearts
and I am still fighting, I am still working on the days
or the moments where I can see nothing but dim light in
front of me and my eyes feel like sandpaper
and my eyelids feel a thousand pounds heavier
but today I can eat breakfast without crying
I can smile without lying
and slowly I am filling myself in
colour by colour
a paint by number
that started at 11
and will end with
an infinity

Growing Pains// C.C (via latttte)

lanadel-grunge:

wheremythoughtsare:

Do not ground your child because you caught them putting a cigarette flame to their wrist.

Do not discipline your child because they have cuts on their thighs.

Do not threaten to put your child in a mental institution because their only escape is self-harm.

Do not teach your children that if they open up to you about the scars on their bodies, the only thing they will get in return is punishment.

my mum needs to take a fucking good look at this

pearswhy:

explaining anxiety is the fucking worst because you feel like an idiot for being bothered by the things that bother you but it’s such an intense fear right at your core so you have to go through all of these other levels of yourself to try and get someone else to understand it

titofromalaska:

sempiternalseas0n:


slayerism:

This is so important

THIS


Their son/daughter kills him/herself “I didn’t know he/she was having serious problems”

titofromalaska:

sempiternalseas0n:

slayerism:

This is so important

THIS

Their son/daughter kills him/herself “I didn’t know he/she was having serious problems”

missmia2000:

Bones Exposed ~ Of Mice & Me.

missmia2000:

Bones Exposed ~ Of Mice & Me.

va-liente:

"…it was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me - said all at once"
Lang Leav

va-liente:

"…it was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me - said all at once"

Lang Leav

officialmcdonaldsblog:

why did they cancel this show

awkward-fallen-angel:

rustboro-city:

hailhydrangeas:

visual-hana:

comment from a person on youtube whose name i don’t remember.

this is how you make “gay jokes” folks

having two parents of any gender would suck because when u need one of them you’d be like “mom” and the wrong one will reply and you have to go “not you the OTHER one” and thats why if i marry a girl and we have kids she can be mom and i will be optimus prime

optimus prime

awkward-fallen-angel:

rustboro-city:

hailhydrangeas:

visual-hana:

comment from a person on youtube whose name i don’t remember.

this is how you make “gay jokes” folks

having two parents of any gender would suck because when u need one of them you’d be like “mom” and the wrong one will reply and you have to go “not you the OTHER one” and thats why if i marry a girl and we have kids she can be mom and i will be optimus prime

optimus prime

Let’s make the Flubber movie cover the most reblogged picture on Tumblr.

insanitys-love:

mymompickedthisurl:

thewinchesterswagger:

image

HOW IS THIS THE FIRST TIME I’VE SEEN THIS IT’S ALMOST AT 10 MILLION WTF

Yes let’s do it for him.